I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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