I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
