We should be called the Road Head Warriors
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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