Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
