When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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