the condom got lost in my hair
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
