Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
