If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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