Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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