My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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