So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
