You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
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