dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
