You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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