he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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