we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
