The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
