I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
