So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
