can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
