2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
