My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
