So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
