Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
