I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
