WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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