he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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