Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
