Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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