everyone is single if you try hard enough
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
