He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
