theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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