I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
