my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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