My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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