I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
