highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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