I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
