He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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