were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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