You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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