dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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