3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
