We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
