His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
