I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sober January is a disaster.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
