Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
