i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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