i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
