Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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