i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
