yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
